Very Funny!! How To Be The Perfect Onigbese In Nigeria

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1. When you want to borrow the money, be as humble as possible.

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In fact, if you have to fall in love with them to get the money, do it.



2. Thank them well even when you have no intention of giving them the money back.

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But they don’t know that.

3. For the first few days (or weeks) after borrowing the money, stay loyal.

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You gotta make them feel comfortable.

4. When they ask you when you plan to return the money, never be straightforward.

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If you’re in love it’s perfect. They won’t ask.

5. When they ask you for collateral for this money.

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Give nothing!

Now to the hiding:

6. Make your Instagram account private.

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Do not let them see you flexing.

7. If they’re on your Twitter timeline, you can’t tweet or even ‘lol’ at tweets.

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Just save your fire tweets as drafts and ask God for help to gather the money.

8. When your phone is ringing and it’s them, do not pick.

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Like, don’t touch the phone.

9. After a while, pick up and tell them your phone fell in the toilet or that you’ve been sick.

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That scores you sympathy points or you can just say “I didn’t see your missed call”.

10. When they start shouting for their money, get angry too.

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“Is it because of ordinary 45 million naira?”

11. If they catch you at a lit hangout, tell them your rich friend sponsored you.

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Before they start thinking you have money.

12. When they don’t believe, ask if you can pay in installments.

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1 million naira now, 44 million in 50 years.

13. But you already know it’s safer to avoid lit hangouts and just follow them online.

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Sorry, but na you owe money.

14. When you see them walking towards you in public.

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Run! Or hide.

15. If you think you might never pay them back, block them across the digital universe.

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Just hope they don’t know your house!

16. Or die.

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That way you win. You never have to pay.

You Enjoy it?

Drop your Comments.

Source:- Zikoko

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